- Carrie Usmar
My daughter took this photo of me. Somehow she made it blue. I was about to go in and get my tripod and do it myself but then I thought, maybe she would enjoy doing it. And she did.
I had her take this photo because I wanted to remember this time and feeling of developing a project and being way out of my comfort zone. I mentioned I would like to help out decorating with the Ren Craft Market (This Sunday 12-5pm) and somehow that turned into having a table at the market and selling something! Haha. At first I was like no way, I don’t have time, I don’t have a skill, I can’t do it. I need someone to tell me what to do and I’ll help. If they have the vision I can cut paper or do whatever craft they want but I am NOT the visionary. As I was telling myself all of this over and over, I thought NO NO NO… I can do something, come on! I was told they are in need of a children’s toy table. Well there were plenty of ideas running in my head and a lot to figure out and work through, all apart of the creative process. Finally, I realized one thing that was in all of the projects I wanted to do and that was wood.
In this photo I am sanding pieces of wood. These pieces go together in a set to make blocks. They aren’t your perfect wooden blocks, although I would like them to be, instead they are your crazy misshapen wood log blocks and that’s more realistic and more me. So I enlisted the help of my husband and he probably almost chopped his hand off and shot wood in his face a few times but he cut a lot of wood. So sanding is taking a while. But I am enjoying it. Which brings me to my point……………
CREATIVITY!!! This crazy amazing thing I totally neglected for years. It’s scary putting your heart and soul into creating something. Its scary sharing your silly videos you make on Facebook. It’s scary writing a blog, when I was never a writer. I fear failure.
Most people tell themselves they are not creative. They can’t do this or that. And if you are one of those people why is it that you say that? Think about it and be honest with yourself? I believe everyone is creative. You just have to believe in yourself and know that what you create is YOURS and good enough because you are enough. So what if it fails? You made it. You put your heart into it. It might fail but you have to accept that and know that failure doesn’t mean you’re a loser and you will never succeed. Failure means this project didn’t work but you go back you change it or make something else and you try again. You learn from every failure and you grow.
After a lot of soul searching I now realize I AM an artist. Yes I studied art, but I never tell people I’m an artist. Because I didn’t do any art. But I now have this need to create. It’s my way of being seen. It’s my way of sharing. It’s my way of telling my story. It’s my way of being vulnerable. It’s my way of helping others. And to be an artist you don’t have to make art, being an artist is caring about which mailbox you choose to go in front of your house, or building furniture, or creating a system for people to make their lives a little easier. There are so many ways to be creative, it’s not just painting or drawing its everywhere if you open your eyes.
So I made these blocks. I foraged the wood piles for specific sizes and colors. Mike cut them because power tools and I aren’t friends yet. But I have made friends with the sander and have sanded each one. And it’s a process. Like life. The beginning and end are fun but the cutting and sanding that’s the stuff that takes patience and perseverance. You get through it even if your hands are killing you.
So I ask that you open your mind and your heart to your creative side. And know that your thoughts and decisions are worthy and don’t worry about what everyone else thinks of what you do. Do what you feel is right and enjoy. I think these wooden blocks are awesome. I kind of want to keep them for my kids they have already enjoyed them so much. And even if no one buys them I’ll be ok because I did something I was afraid to try. And I took on a challenge I was so scared of. I was courageous and creative and I’ll take that everyday even if I fail. But I hope someone buys them, because all of the proceeds go to Renaissance Church for the elevator fund. And we NEED an elevator. So if you’re feeling like getting your Christmas shopping done early stop by the craft show, there is something for everyone.