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A few things I have learned, as a mama daring greatly.

(My daughter Celia and I, Photo Credit: Tiffany Axtmann Photography)

Don’t fear change. Go with it.

Don’t fear trying new things, embrace them.

Wear what YOU want and feel most comfortable in.

Don’t talk about your body negatively, especially not in front of your kids.

Be conscious of how you look at yourself in the mirror, little ones are always watching.

Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude….

When you are feeling down, or having one of those overwhelming mom moments, its okay to take a minute and hide in the closet. Pray. Or call or text a friend and ask them to get together.

Focus on progress, not perfection. NO ONE is perfect. You may think that, but beneath the surface we all are broken. Always focus on your progress. If you focus on the negative and the things you can’t do, you can’t see how far you’ve come.

I am enough. Just as I am. I accept my imperfections and scars. They are a part of me.

What I do is my best. I’ve gotten rid of the shoulds and shouldn’ts and inserted, “I did my best and maybe next time I’ll try it this way…..”

And lastly. . I CAN.

I spent most of my life settling for easy. I was afraid to go out of my comfort zone. I told myself so very often, I can’t do that (insert dream), or I could never (try that new crazy scary thing). But I’m done living afraid. I can, and I will.

I’ve enjoyed taking the time today to reflect on my life as a mom. I am by no means perfect. I often forget this stuff and get a little lost. Some of my days, weeks, can be difficult. I am constantly tested, and questioning myself and my actions as a parent. I know we all just want to be doing our best and it’s scary with what we have to face today. But I’m grateful, I always am able to climb back up when I’ve fallen and am reminded God loves me, brokenness and all. He gives me the strength I didn’t think I had, and the power to face some of my biggest fears.

To all the mamas, non-mamas, mamas with angels in heaven, and friends who have lost their mamas. This day may have been one of the most difficult days for you. It brings up pain, memories, and the feeling of loss. For some it’s a day they would rather forget altogether. Please know you are not alone.

Personally, this day used to make me feel bad. I used to feel like it was a day where I compare myself to every other mom, and how I just don’t measure up. There are times I’m on my phone a lot, I forget paperwork for school, I stink at organizing play-dates, we don’t go enough places, I’m not as active as other moms or I just don’t do that mom stuff. Like making really cool things from pinterest, ok.. maybe I would and most moms probably buy them ha. But I used to just feel like I wasn’t enough. I wasn’t good enough to be their mom. And I catch myself sometimes saying I just don’t want them to be like me, when I am their biggest influence. So its time to stand up and shout, I am enough. I am worthy of love and belonging. My kids love me for me. Stop comparing. We are all broken. Fight the shame. Talk about it. Talk about the things you are ashamed of. If there is one way to fight shame, its being vulnerable enough to share that you are not perfect and you need help sometimes. You will find so many are just like you and you may bring someone else comfort to know they are not alone.

Happy Mothers Day xoxo

Why did I never have time to pray? I'm always too busy… I don’t know what to pray about. I don’t have anything to ask for? I'm doing good right now. Or I just feel like I can’t talk to God because I'm selfish and judgemental and just mean sometimes… One common theme about those questions, its all about ME.

My previous beliefs about prayer.

You have to be in this dark room by yourself alone to pray.

You only pray before meals and bed. (If you even remember)

You have to have your bible..

You have to read your bible and then pray..

You have to go to church.

You have to pray consistently, in order for God to hear you…

He is mad at you because you don’t pray and you don’t know him, so why start.

And again there is just not enough time.

I mostly just don't remember and then say I don't have any time for God.

And one of my favorites is that you have to speak in special way where your prayers flow and you have so much to say about this one person or situation you are praying about. Its really difficult to describe the lingo that comes out of people while they are praying but if you ever happen to attend a prayer session, there are some people that are really good at praying out loud and its intimidating.. (I believe they are honest and mean well and am happy that they are able to do that, I just didn't always understand some of the terminology)

Here's how I pray.. "I pray for Susie to feel better....." (silence) (very long silence) Or "I ask that John can find a job." (Silence). Seriously I just pray it like it is, no fluff, just real..

Do you know how long I searched and asked people about their prayer life? I would ask others, well when do you pray, or how do you find the time, or what do you pray about, I have everything I need.

I got several answers, some I did implement (if I remembered), but I still had this belief you had to consciously sit down and have prayer time or devotional time in order to know God...

Here are my thoughts and suggestions on prayer. I am no expert. But some of these things have changed my relationship with God and I feel closer to him.

1. Thank god in everything for everything….

This is the worst sometimes.. I mean do I really want to thank God for the pain I am enduring, the trials I go through, or for the future pain I will endure? The answer is YES. Because you may not know it but you will learn and grow and take that brokeness and make it stunning.

So, I thank you for my kid getting poop out of her diaper and getting it all over the room.. I thank you God, It taught me patience.

I thank you god for the joy I experience everyday.

I thank you God for being able to help others.

I thank you God for what is happening now and especially what is to come.. Whatever it may be I thank you….

Some days (if I remember) I wake up and first thank God for the day, for what is to come, and acknowledge it is his day and I will follow him and it helps remind me throughout the day.

2. ASK… Just ask.. Its okay to ask for what you want.

I always thought whats the point in asking God for something. I never get it anyway. I’m just not good enough to even ask for anything..

I don’t need anything, I have everything I need.

Or why would he give it to me? Why would he bless me I don't deserve it.

There is always something on your heart… Just ask… He may not answer the way you want or give you what you want but I promise you he will answer.. He is with you always..

Last month, I asked God for a baby. I also asked for twins. (I have never asked God for either, or felt like it was ok to ask because I don't know anyone that would ask for twins, but I would LOVE to have twins and think its just the most amazing beautiful thing)

Anyway, it was an odd month and my chances of concieving were low. But I prayed anyway. Sure enough I got pregnant. It honestly was surprising, and I was excited and so grateful. I reached out to a friend and it turned out she was pregnant too. Very similar timing to me, down to the same week. And I told her I guess our babies are the twins I was asking for..

I had one week with this baby. It was a really rough week. I don't need to get into all the details but it was not easy and I struggled a lot.

I had the most beautiful last day with the baby. I took the kids to the aquarium. I admired all the pregnant moms, some with their second and me with my third and felt that excitement. Imagined meeting this baby in September.

The following morning I noticed blood. And I wasn't sure what was happening. It wasn't much, but was a steady amount throughout the day and I started to feel pressure, like it wasn't right.

The entire day I asked God for his grace and power over the situation. I would look in the mirror and plead for God's grace and power. I prayed that some kind of miracle happen and that it not be true. And I cried. I wasn't exactly sure what was happening but when I saw the doctor the next day it was confirmed.

In the past I would have fallen into a pit and honestly, I don't know if I would have made it out this time. So much has happened to me that I used to cry out to God WHY... Why is this happening to me.. What did I do.. Why me... And I would enter into that darkness, and start hearing the lies and believing them. I'd stop functioning, stop feeling, and stop being. This would go on for a long time, and I cry even thinking about those times because I don't want to go back there.

This is the first time in my life that I know God is taking care of me and my family. One thing I realized is this trial will make us stronger. And its sad, and I was mad, why didn't he answer my prayer, when he answered my other prayers, but I realized that maybe the answers aren't revealed right now but having been through many trials, I know someday it will all make sense. I look forward to that day but in the meantime I'll keep praying and knowing God is in control and I don't have to worry or be afraid.

God says to us, "Pray, because I have all kinds of things for you; and when you ask, you will recieve. I have all this grace, and you live with scarcity. Come unto me, all you who labor. Why are you so rushed? Where are you running now? Everything you need, I have." -Jim Cymbala Fresh Wind Fresh Fire

3. Help me God… Help me God.. Please help me… ASK FOR HELP…. I can’t say that enough… Just cry out to God help me, I need you…..

I don’t know why guys but the act of asking God for help just comforts me.. Its like I know he is with me and I am reminded and that I can keep on going because I have him..

The other day I was at the end of my rope… and my daughter just kept on pushing pushing pushing… Mommy I need this.. Mommy I’m scared… Mommy I don’t like that toy or that book.. Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy… And I finally had to confidently say, I am going downstairs now I am confident you can find something to do on your own for 20 more minutes…

I went downstairs.. She wimpered a little and I started reading and writing.. And that’s when I read the words ask for help… And I just said God Help me… Help me… Please help me…

Sure enough My child that NEVER naps and would never fall asleep during the day on her own.. Had turned off her light.. and fallen asleep.. And mommy had that peaceful quiet time. And I am still thanking God every minute for that.

4. You can pray anywhere...

I'll never forget a friend of mine telling me she prays when she is washing dishes.. It was like my whole world changed..

You mean you can talk to God anytime? not just at church or in your bed or your quiet room but anytime? In the car, doing dishes, folding laundry, cooking dinner, when the kids are screaming anytime?

I have so much comfort from that fact and its a reminder God is always with me and I can talk to him anytime.

Is it easy to remember these things.. No.. But I am reminded of them often and am grateful for the little reminders, because without them I don't know where I'd be.

I got so low in my life and so lost I needed God to help me get through the darkness. I needed to be reminded I am not in control. And I needed the comfort to know he can help me through anything. Without God, its just me, and me thinking I can do it all and I am in control of my life and of everything and I can do it all perfectly, and its me me me me me. But he chased me down, he put people in my life that reminded me the most basic things about a relationship with God. And how to experience the fullness of God. And it wasn't about my knowledge of the bible, or all the worship songs I knew, or how often I prayed. It was about just talking to God, asking him for help, thanking him for everything even things that have yet to come, and not worrying because I am not in control. You'd be surprised, I have been attending church for 6 years and was raised in the church and did not know any of this.

Its easy to judge people, to assume they know it all because they sit next to you every week at church. But some have been doing that their whole life, its just what they do, but they don't know God. If we just assume our brothers and sisters know God then we aren't being a true family. We have to ask the questions no one wants to ask. I hate confrontation, and why would anyone confront a leader of the church or someone thats been at the church for years or that person you believe is a solid christian because of the way they pray, but its asking these questions that can CHANGE someones life. Maybe it helps them acknowledge that they don't know GOD, or that they are actually living in sin but don't want to face it. Or maybe their response is amazing and helps you see someone elses relationship with God. Either way, we have to ask and maintain a closeness with our family. I think i always wanted someone to ask me, but no one ever did

I'm beginning month two of Hammer and Chisel. I am LOVING it. I'm not your average meal prepper. I often struggle to do it, but end up okay because I usually have eggs on hand. I eat a lot of eggs and turkey. I don't do pretty meal prep photos. I can do it. But its a lot of work to make something the way I want it to look. (Perfect) So I'm gonna give you REAL. I'm not dressed up. My hair is a mess. Its been a long day. And there is mess everywhere. The lighting is not ideal. BUT I want to share this meal prep with you in hopes it will help some people out there struggling with how to even begin..

First you take a selfie..

This is the face of.... a strong determined brave mama.

Then put some chicken in the slow cooker, we did this around lunchtime. Making a bulk of chicken is helpful.

1. You can put it on salads, wraps, sandwich, quinoa, vegetables.

Here is the recipe I used.

One recipe I am going to try is Chicken with water up half way but not covering the chicken, and hot sauce on top, then shred it.

Winner winner chicken dinner...

Later, I baked some sweet potatoes. Sweet potatoes are a GREAT carb, and for my 21 day fixers, 1/2 sweet potato is 1 yellow. I could go on about the benefits of sweet potatoes but I'd like you to keep reading.


Heat oven to 350

Poke holes in sweet potatoes with fork

Put in for 30 minutes.

Flip them

And do another 30 minutes.

Check out dem taters...

While the sweet potatoes are cooking. Steam your broccoli.. I LOVE steamed broccoli.. I Don't love the smell. Don't do it when company is coming over. It will stink up the house. But its always worth it and super easy.

Do you know how to steam veggies? I was always scared to even try it and usually went in the freezer aisle and got the steam bags you microwave. I knew better, but never believed I could actually steam broccoli.

What kind of pan do you need? How do you do it?

Well I use a pan and a little steamer thingy. You can see it in the photo below. I don't know why it looks like an alien ship and Hugo likes to break it.

You put that in the pan filled with water 1 inch up from the bottom

when water is boiling put your broccoli in

Put lid on!!! Don't forget that step

Steam for 7ish minutes.


Broccoli in the space ship.. mmmmm

While the sweet potatoes AND broccoli are going, Chop some veggies. I chopped onions and peppers. I'll use this for an egg breakfast and definitely for my turkey chilli I'm making for dinner on Tuesday.


Then everything gets a little crazy and food comes out at all different times, kids running around you with balloon strings your tripping on asking you to peel an orange, eat an apple, have some cherrios, help me on the potty,

Its a GREAT idea to get the kids involved if you can. We had them help prepare the chicken, and I gave Celia the sweet potatoes to poke with a fork and had them help me throw away parts of the veggies I didn't need. It can be frustrating but it makes them so happy to help.

Then when all is said and done.. You try and take an awesome picture of all the food you prepped and #cocosmealprep

These are some lunches for the hub. 1 red, 1 green, 2 yellow.

And after you make this pretty picture and pretend there is not a gigantic mess in the kitchen and want to just go to bed and hide. You snap a photo for evidence you worked hard, kicked some booty, and are food prepped for a few days.

I don't know about you but its pretty satisfying not having to make my lunch. I stress to make the kids lunch a lot and used to just not get any food till 3 in the afternoon. That doesn't work for me I end up eating tons of junk food because I am starving. I'm slightly ahead for the week and plan to prep some more food Wednesday. And I love the way I feel when I'm eating well and taking care of my body. So eventhough it can be stressful and overwhelming its worth it. I'm worth it. My family is worth it.

If you have any questions comment here, or send me an email. Love to you all. Thanks for reading.



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