- Carrie Usmar
Finding Ways To Get Out Of My Head
I get lost in the deep dark woods a lot. It does not come naturally for me to be positive. It’s very easy for my mind to spiral out of control. I get frustrated looking for the way out and often forget the ways I have learned to navigate these woods. (Like using All Trails).
When I’m lost I become numb. My mind is never rational. I start “shoulding” myself and feeling unworthy. The comparison begins and I can’t seem to remember the truth about myself in my heart. All I can do is keep walking and looking for a way out. I end up in circles, never getting anywhere.
After running myself ragged, I realize I need to stop for a rest and breathe. I look around and notice the leaves falling from the trees. I can hear them falling one after the other, it sounds like heavy rain. I’ve never heard leaves falling. I don’t know that I’ve ever stopped long enough to listen.
As I listened and appreciated mother nature, I felt calm, my mind stopped running.
While I don’t want to be lost it’s part of my rhythm and I’ve learned to be okay with it. I can’t control being lost, and I can’t find my way out with positive affirmations. No one can find me and help me, I have to find my own way.
I hold on to the clarity and confidence that come when I get out of the woods and the joy and freedom of not dealing with shame and perfection.
Being lost is a part of life, and when I stop frantically searching for an exit, I remember self-compassion, gratitude, and rest. Then I will find my way out of the woods.